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After reading this article you will learn about some of the major personal problems encountered by individuals as they grow form youth to old age. An attempt has been made to analyse the psychological implications, consequences and solution to these problems.
Adolescent Worries and Problems:
In addition to the problems related to their studies, young individuals often experience certain other problems which are of a completely different nature. Many of these problems are characteristic of the developmental stage through which they are passing.
These problems are often of a very emotional nature and can, in some cases, result in a high degree of emotional disturbance. We may now consider the sources and nature of some of these problems.
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One major group of these problems relates to the body and physical changes taking place at this stage of development. The period of life beginning with the teenagers constitutes what is known as adolescence and the individual passing through this period is known as an adolescent.
At this stage one finds that one’s body goes through a series of rapid and sudden changes. These changes do not occur at the same rate and at the same time in all adolescents. The result is that the young boy or girl finds that he or she is suddenly a different person from what he or she was earlier and also different from the other members of his or her class or group.
Some of the physical changes taking place at this stage are appearance of hair over the body, changes in the voice, uneven growth of the different parts, etc. In girls other changes like menstruation appear. These changes disturb the internal balance and also the body image. The young adolescent feels awkward and appears clumsy. These changes can create psychological disturbances almost bordering on bewilderment.
A different set of problems arise when adolescents start comparing themselves with others of their age. Since the rate of growth differs from individual to individual, the bodily changes occur earlier in some adolescents and later in others. Under such conditions, those who grow up earlier find themselves suddenly different from their friends in their appearance. This causes some doubts and worries.
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On the other hand, those in whom the changes are slow, start wondering and worrying about why they are not growing up when others are growing up, often experiencing the doubts that there may be something wrong with them and, perhaps, also feeling inferior to others. In most cases, however, such worries and doubts pass off after sometime. But there are instances where the changes do not pass off so smoothly.
Most of the problems of this type can be solved if the adolescents are made aware of the facts behind such changes. Such changes are natural and because people differ in rates of growth, the changes occur at different times in different people. Some people attain early maturity and others later. Young people who understand these facts of life are able to face these problems more realistically.
The growth during adolescence produces not only physical changes but also psychological changes. Young people suddenly find themselves losing interest in the games and hobbies which they had enjoyed all these years.
This sometimes applies even to the company of their friends. They suddenly start feeling lonely and without any interests. But this again is a passing phase. Very often, they begin to develop interests in new activities, games and hobbies. They also begin to form new friendships and everything returns to stability and normalcy. Of course, in some people the period is slightly longer and the problems also slightly more intense. Adolescent boys and girls should react to these changes without any undue concern or anxiety.
Sexual Maturation:
The adolescent period marks the beginning of sexual maturation. This is yet another source of emotional problems, anxieties and even bewilderment. The adolescents experience stimulations which have been hitherto unknown. For the first time they find themselves attracted by members of the opposite sex.
This is a strange experience for them. In addition to this feeling of strangeness, in a society like ours where sex is traditionally considered to be taboo, these experiences are often accompanied by a sense of shame and even guilt. The adolescents are ashamed to own up their feelings and discuss this with anybody.
In some instances these attitudes and feelings can take an extreme form and result in the formation of very unhealthy and unnatural attitudes about sexual relationships. At the other end are those modern young Romeos and Juliet’s for whom falling in love is having a girl-friend or a boy-friend.
Much of this problem can be overcome if young people realise that sex is a natural function and activity and that such experiences are common to everyone. In those instances where extreme attitudes are formed proper counseling may become necessary.
Problems of Vocational Choice:
Major source of emotional crisis is the choice of a proper job or occupation. Young people today are faced with the problem of making a choice from a number of possible careers. Each job appears to be more tempting and attractive than the other to the impressionable youngsters.
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Further, there appears to be a possibility of getting into a job of one’s choice and at the same time also a (very real) possibility of not getting a job at all. These contradictory and complex possibilities can be a serious source of emotional upheaval.
It is in such situations that a proper appreciation of one’s own interests, abilities and aptitudes becomes important. Whatever be the attractiveness of a job, ultimately the most important consideration is that one should be able to do the job well and enjoy doing it. Psychology has evolved a number of tools which help one to get a proper assessment of one’s own abilities, interests, aptitudes, etc.
The young individual will do well to seek the help of a proper counselor and have an awareness of all the above mentioned qualities. This will help one to make a proper plan for one’s future occupation and also prepare oneself to enter the same.
One should also acquire enough knowledge about the different requirements and attributes of the job, the opportunities and possibilities available for advancement therein. One should develop clear cut expectations regarding the job so that one knows what to look for. This will help young people to overcome many common frustrating experiences, disappointments and firmly strive for long-term goals and job.
Marital Adjustment:
Once the young people make a choice and enter a job, they have to encounter yet another major developmental problem. This involves the choice of a suitable marital partner and the setting up of a home. Traditionally, much of the responsibility was borne by elders. But, today, there is a trend towards self-choice as different from the traditional pattern of arranged marriage.
The young man or woman is often very confused and there is sometimes a tendency to fall in love with every possible member of the opposite sex. On the other hand, sometimes the individual also develops very narrow and rigid expectations.
Movies, magazines and other mass media often influence the individual by projecting unrealistic but apparently laudable models. Early experiences at home also complicate this issue. The young person should be aware of the psychological implication of marriage, family life and his or her long-term objectives and try to make a realistic appraisal of the responsibilities involved. In addition, he should also develop an attitude of flexibility and adjustment.
Marriage involves a biological need and also social responsibilities. But, in addition, it involves interpersonal transactions and adjustment. It is here that the knowledge of psychology and the psychological appraisal of the situation becomes very crucial. The real problem in most instances starts sometime after the manage or after the initial euphoria has faded.
The individual should be fully aware of the complexities of relationships involved including children, elders and the in-laws in particular. Such problems can be more easily encountered and overcome by developing an attitude of readiness to admit and accommodate individual differences, proper modes of communication in interaction and above all an ability to bear with short-term frustrations in the interests of long-term goals.
Middle-Age Problems:
By the time an individual reaches the late twenties he or she has more or less made the marital choice and settled in the family. The next few years generally are comparatively smooth and peaceful without any major problems. But this comparative quietness soon gives place to certain other problems towards middle age which covers the age-group of forty-five and fifty-five.
By this time certain new problems begin to make their appearance felt. The demands of the family in terms of time and material resources increase. The children grow up and there are several problems like their education and marriage which demand a great deal of attention and energy.
The initial novelty and attraction in marital life and also work life gives place to a sense of monotony and boredom. Many people feel that they have reached a dead-end in their jobs and at the same time are unable to make a radical change or shift.
Very often it is found that their peers have made a greater success in life. All these bring in their wake strong feelings of discontent, failure, worthlessness and even self-devaluation. As the famous psychologist Carl Jung put it the individual is ‘stuck’ and feels that he cannot extricate himself.
This often gives rise to irritability, loss of temper, depression, etc. Some individuals react by blaming others for their failures, others start blaming themselves. In women the problem can become serious out of a feeling of a loss of their youth and feminine attractiveness.
If this is coupled with the onset of climacterics in women (menopause), sometimes this can result in a severe depression or melancholic reaction. Sometimes this may even need hospitalization. Though many of these problems are real and cannot be totally avoided, nevertheless people who have formed healthy attitudes, wider interests and a realistic approach to life can weather these storms.
They strive to solve the problems rather than get bogged down by them. They realise that many of these problems are natural to most people and develop attitudes of optimism and refuse to get flustered by the problems. The extent to which an individual is able to develop such attitudes, however, depends on how satisfactorily one has solved one’s earlier problems.
An individual who has throughout his life been making unhappy adjustments will often find the mid-life crisis insurmountable. To a large extent, middle-age problems can be met by developing warm and close friendships, extra-occupational interests and also developing a meaningful philosophy of life. An individual who develops a realistic priority of goals and values can overcome these tensions and move ahead.
Old-Age Problems:
Old-age, in most societies especially in the modem world brings with it many emotional problems. Declining abilities, reduced income, increased dependency, sharp differences in attitudes and values from the younger generations and deteriorating health-all these very often bring about feelings of loneliness, isolation and being unwanted.
The grandparent’s role which gave the older person a defined status and purpose has been more or less dispensed with in modern society. In many cases, the older person, though really healthy, begins to imagine that he should be ill because he is old. His own felt helplessness is often projected and felt as rejection by others.
The problem is much more serious in the case of people who have not developed any interests other than a narrow family and job responsibilities. It is, perhaps, these possibilities which resulted in the prescription by the traditional Indian society that the older person should gradually detach himself from attachments and take to vanaprastha ashram. But these are not practical in modern societies. In view of this, it is necessary that the older person should be able to develop other interests which will hold his attention and also give him a sense of achievement, competence and satisfaction.
It is true that physiologically and organically a person becomes old gradually but psychologically, old age often descends suddenly (some times the day after retirement). It is this sudden descent of old age which complicates issues among those individuals who have not prepared for such a contingency.
It is obvious that the problems of old age are partly unavoidable. The more the individual accepts this fact, the less intense will be his emotional problems. Instead of entertaining fears about old age, individuals should plan and develop capacities to convert their experience, wisdom and leisure into resources, not only for themselves but for society at large.
Very often, the problems result because old people do not want to grow old or even admit that they are old. Of course, it should also be mentioned that a good deal of responsibility also lies with the society to create and develop meaningful roles for the elderly citizens, rather than regarding them as waste products. In fact, nothing is a total waste. If waste paper can be converted into good paper, one wonders why old human beings cannot be made use of.