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Read this article to learn about the Dos and Don’ts for the Development of Moral Character in a Child.
Now, what are the dos and don’ts for children which are considered important for the development of moral character?
For the children who are +4,
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[i] Should not be aggressive or destructive;
[ii] Should obey the elders; for the;
[iii] Should be amiable to playmates; children;
[iv] Should be quiet at dinner; who are +A;
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[v] Should speak the truth;
And the children who have grown still older—
[vi] Should be sexually modest.
[i] First, let us consider what are the possible reasons which may make a child aggressive or destructive. A child needs feeding when it is hungry. If this basic need of the child is not satisfied timely, it would upset the child.
And, if indifference to the basic needs of the child is something common in the family, the child would grow aggressive in nature. He would become recalcitrant—would not follow the directions of the elders, or, may be doing just contrary to what his elders want. Care should be taken about the clothes and cleanliness of the child.
There should be proper ventilation in his room. The physical environment should be wholesome for the child. Parent or nurturant should always be affectionately careful towards the child. If a mother is very strict or harsh to an erring child, it would not help in making a child modest or obedient—a harsh behaviour may prove counter-productive.
If an elderly family member is harsh, often rough to an erring child, it would be instilling aggressive characteristics in the development of the child’s personality. If a child wants to play with something, and if it is not harmful for him to do so, his demand should pleasantly and immediately be met.
A child cannot tolerate the deferment of the gratification of his desire; [though training should be imparted later, to make the child tolerant to the deferment of gratification of his wants].
If the child has wetted the bed, the child should not be made to keep lying on the wet bed. The mother should immediately change the wet cloth/clothes and/or bed sheet. The mother’s indifference or insensitivity to the child’s need or trouble would naturally make the child peevish or aggressive. Nor, should the mother be too strict in matters of toilet- discipline, especially, when the child is still not even two years old.
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The likings of the child should be accorded due importance. Indifference to his likings, or, doing just contrary to what the child likes, would make him irritated. If this thing happens often, the child would grow habituated to behaving aggressively to get his demands met. Fear or anxiety of punishment may make the child frustrated, and result in complex effects.
Sears, after observing the aggressive responses of the children:
(i) Who had non-punitive mothers;
(ii) Who had mildly punitive mothers, and,
(iii) Who had highly punitive mothers, concluded.
“….the best way to prevent aggression in a child is to discourage him punishment seems to have complex effects. While, undoubtedly, it often stops a particular form of aggression, at least momentarily, it appears to generate more hostility in the child and to lead to further aggressive outbursts at some other time or place, ……….they (parents) are providing a living example of the use of aggression at the very moment they are trying to teach the child not to be aggressive.” [Patterns of Child Rearing]
Too much fear and anxiety may make the child very frustrated and neurotic, and such a one would prove a highly problematic case, from morality point of view also.
Anna Freud refers to the adoption of the behaviour of the aggressive model with the label “IDENTIFICATION WITH THE AGGRESSOR”— the motive behind such identification happens to be anxiety of the threatened aggression, differentiating it from the developmental identifications, Mowrer has called the process as “defensive identification.”
A child suffering from some physical disability, may also grow aggressive, Myerson writes, “Emotionally, he may be unable to satisfy his needs for security, affection and success, and thus, be driven to compensate for the lack either by withdrawing or by showing aggressive behaviour.”
[Some youngsters may be suffering from body dysmorphic disorder (B.D.D.), a severe preoccupation with an imagined or slight defect in appearance may lead to drop out of school, shun social contacts, and even commit suicide].
Chronic diseases, also, have emotional implications. They may interfere with the steady process of personality development and emotional stability. (Freed, EX and Cruickshank, WM The relation of cardiac disease to feelings of fear)-, and, may make the children rebellious.
About a neurologically damaged child, Bradley, C writes that such a child would be impulsive, hyperactive, irritable, distractible, unpredictable in his behaviour, and has difficulty in abstract thinking.
[ii] Elders would, naturally, want a child to learn to behave as their society considers it proper to do. And, the child’s behaving in an inconsistent manner, may be construed as disobedience. Little consideration is given to the maturity level of the child. We, the elders, often forget that still the child is dominated by Id. Self-esteem is, still, to be developed in him; and the stage of superego is still farther beyond.
The elders need to be conscious of the fact that the child is still passing through the stage of amorality— a stage when the child should not be considered immoral for any action of his; nor should morality, as elders take it to be, be expected of him. In no case, the elders’ treatment towards the tender child, should grow harsh or rough.
A child would care for the pleasure, of that only, who is greatly nurturant to it. Nor, would inconsistent reactions of the elders help in improving the child’s behaviour.
If repeatedly such things are expected of the child, for which he is not matured enough to accomplish, he would develop a habit of disregarding the demands of his elders. The main difficulty is caused because of the fact that the child generalizes his reaction to other elders also—so the child should be so treated that only desirable reaction may be elicited from him.
What is very much essential is, the adults’ sensitivity to the child’s mental state of tension, caused because of his separation from his mother. And, also of the difficulty of the child in adjusting to the situations of his first nursery school, and, to his playmates and others.
Adjustment to school is often an emotional strain, “first grade children frequently suffer from lack of appetite, sleep disturbances and loss of weight as a consequence to tension. The adults’ attitude should be very sympathetic and helpful to these children otherwise, they may grow more disobedient and indifferent to the demands of the adults.
Punishment to the children may make them adopt defense mechanism, which would invite more punishment, cause fear to the child—and a vicious circle would be created.
The important thing to remember is “…… that uncurbed drives were no better than completely suppressed ones.” A judicious balance is needed.
If adult patterns are forced upon children, ignoring their basic needs and capacities, antagonism or neuroticism will be the result.
[iii] We expect the child to be amiable to his playmates; it is taken as a desirable indicator towards a proper socialisation, and, moral development of the child. Up to the age of three, the child has very little reciprocal plays.
He mostly plays alone with his toys. After 3, the importance of playmates grows continuously in the socialisation of the child, so it is desirable that the child must have an amiable relationship with his playmates.
His experiences with his playmates, are significant in his moral development also. Here again, the child’s learning’s at home, are important. His reactions to other social situations, reflect his learning’s at home. The pattern of behaviour that is rewarded in the home situation, is likely to be rewarded in other situations also.
It is in the self-interest of the child, that he becomes amiable to his playmates in reciprocal plays, otherwise he would not be able to continue the play which he is finding so interesting, so entertaining. Thus, he learns sharing his interest with the interests of others. This may prove as an initial step towards the development of the spirit of accommodation, which is so essential for the development of moral traits.
Some behaviour-patterns which were rewarded in home situations, are also likely to be rewarded in the nursery school situations by his playmates also, while others may not be rewarded by the group of playmates, or may provoke punishment. The behaviour-patterns which do not get favour with his playmates, are likely to be reduced in strength, and, eliminated eventually.
Children, depending too much on adults, care for the rewards by adults only, and such children are likely to be rejected by their peers. Contrary to this, “Youngsters who have not experienced gratification in their social contacts with adults, are also likely to fall into the dragnet of bad company, if there, the environment is not so dull, or, otherwise rewarding.”
The study of Freud and Dann of six orphaned children, also brings out the fact that early experiences of the children, play an important role in the development of amiability in them. There was great attachment to one another among them. They could not tolerate separation from one another— there was complete absence of competitive rivalry and jealousy among them.
Their common experiences of extreme privations in concentration camps, had made them so intimate or emotionally attached to one another. MORALITY DEPENDS UPON THE NATURE OF EMOTIONAL BUILD-UP. “These children reacted with the same intense feeling of attachment with the first adult that they came in contact with.
Their approach was based on group feelings, and was different from that of a child who has contacts with the mother only. The feelings of these children, were positive; they had grown sensitive to the needs and feelings of others; which is so essential for the development of amiability.
Amiability is possible where there is no jealousy. There are some factors which are likely to make children jealous:
i. If another sibling is born to the mother of a child, who himself is four years or so. It is natural that the new born child would seem to the elder one, as to have snatched his mother’s affection to which he had so far been the sole claimant. But a four-year-old or older child may feel affection for its younger sibling.
ii. If a partial treatment is meted out to a child, giving preference to one against the other, may be because the mother is a step-mother; the younger child is more handsome, or less aggressive or irritant; or because of preference—the elder sibling being a female child; or because the mother gives more affection to the younger because of its age; the child which feels to be getting less affection, would grow jealous of the child which gets or seems to be getting more motherly affection.
Jealousy, thus engendered at home, may be generalized at the pre- nursery and nursery stages when the child lives and plays with other children outside the house.
iii. The elders at home, and, the teachers in the school, should not pass very plain and blunt remarks against a child, while applauding the other. It would make the former child jealous of the latter. I have seen such a jealous child spoiling the exercise-book of the latter, or trying to otherwise harm him.
Sewall has given some symptoms of jealousy in pre-school children:
1. Aggression:
A jealous child would react aggressively against the one that is the object of his jealousy. He would not obey the demands of such an elder, who favours the object of his jealousy, in preference to him. He may try to harm the object of his jealousy.
2. Regression:
A jealous child, a child threatened by actual or supposed loss of affection, may regress to infantile behaviour of a child much younger than him. Such a child may refuse to eat food, may lose bladder and bowel control.
3. Withdrawal:
A jealous child would withdraw from the elder, whose behaviour is actually responsible for causing jealousy against someone else. Not only this, such a child may withdraw to himself, in isolation, from others also, who in no way are related to his present state of frustration.
4. Indifference:
Far from being amiable to his playmates, a jealous child, when feeling himself helpless in improving the situation in any way, in his favour, grows so frustrated that he loses all interest in the development of events about him—no reaction is elicited, howsoever stimulating an occasion may be.
A child suffering from these four symptoms should be taken as a case, demanding special measures for his desired socialisation and moral development. Sewall found that a large number of the children who were suffering from jealousy, were the first born. They were emotionally insecure and upset. Such children, if not treated in time, can never grow into amiable playmates for their peers.
The author has suggested the following four measures:
(i) Spend more time, exclusively, with the older child.
(ii) There should be good interpersonal relations at home.
(iii) There should be consistency in discipline—if the elders are sometimes very strict while at other times undesirably permissive, it would not help in nurturing proper discipline.
(iv) The basic needs of the older child too, should be gratified always, without avoidable delay.
As social interactions become more frequent, their nature gets more importance in the development of social/moral qualities. Such is the importance of friendship, that many aspects of social behaviour undergo changes, as a result of its impact. Along with friendship, many other social qualities, such as co-operation, sympathy, sacrifice, patience, tolerance, also develop on the playground.
(i) Too strong competitive drives;
(ii) Prejudice and
(iii) Some other undesirable responses are the very formidable blocks in the development of amiability. Competition is unhealthy, if the child’s own “estimation of himself and of his worth is tied to the extent to which he can undo others.”
Though to a certain extent, competition may be necessary for the accomplishment of something important, yet, too much emphasis on it may turn one bitter, vengeful and callous. Prejudice means lack of objective assessment of cause-effect relationship. A study was made in America with 5 white and 5 Afro- American children as subjects.
The findings proved that physical difference is also a cause for making one prejudiced. Socioeconomic status, differences in family backgrounds, intelligence, parental attitude, and even age, are the other factors which may cause prejudice.
There are some other kinds of responses, too, which would make the child maladjusted in the group of his playmates, and, in other social situations. Hattwick, BW divided 106 children into two groups—the experimental and the control ones.
The experimental group had attended the nursery school for nine months, while the control group only for a few weeks. He wanted to study the impact of the nursery school in developing sociability/adaptability in children. He rated the children, on 60 kinds of behaviour-patterns.
Fewer maladaptive reactions were found in the children of the group which had attended the school longer—avoiding strangers, shirking from notice, giving in easily, twisting their hair, tenseness, playing with finger, wriggling, refusing food, enuresis, leaving task incomplete, dawdling with food are some of these maladaptive reactions.
Such a reaction may be found in a child who lacks in amiability with his playmates; and if corrective measures are not taken timely, may cause difficulty in developing adaptability. A maladjusted child is less likely to develop moral traits in his behaviour. Development of tolerance is essential for the moral and social qualities of adaptability and amiability.
(iv) Should be quiet at dinner. When a child feels hungry, he would make an urgent demand for his gratification. And, if no immediate gratification is made, or some convincing explanation presented, for the little unavoidable delay, in case of children who are not younger than plus 4, undesirable reactions would be there. In order to avoid the development of such reactions, the following alternatives are desirable:
(a) Do not delay in gratifying the hunger or any of the other basic needs of the child; it would be better if timings are fixed for his feeding.
(b) While feeding the child, or meeting any of his demand, a touch of affection should always be present.
(c) The child who is not younger than two years of age, should be taught table-etiquettes, which include, that while taking one’s food, one should not be noisy or quarrelling with others. Food should be taken quietly and in a pleasant mood. Table-etiquettes also, demand that one should take one’s food neatly—without either greasing or spoiling the mouth, finger or the spot where food is taken.
Proper food habits are taken as an indicator of the development of good personality traits. Great is the importance of diet so far health—both physical and mental, is concerned. It has been a firm belief with the Indians, that one’s mind would be as the food one takes.
In the Gita, one of the most important books of the ancient India, food has been classified into three kinds, each liked by the people of different (moral) categories—Satwik (modest, disciplined and enthusiastic), Rajsi (short-tempered, rash, greedy and violent), and Tamsi (manner less, rude, wicked….), respectively.
(v) Should speak the truth. Speaking the truth is an important moral quality, highly desirable in society. One who tells a lie, is not liked by anyone. No one believes him. So, from the very beginning, we should be careful that the child does not tell a lie.
Notwithstanding, we should take a child’s telling a lie, with a due consideration to his tender age. A child happens to be amoral; because of his immaturity, he can commit nothing immoral intentionally. But we find the child to be telling lies very often.
My three-year-old granddaughter, who very often tells innocent lies and quite interestingly—”I have got fever”, (because it would make everybody behave with her more affectionately, more caressingly); “I have brought these shoes from bazaar”, or, “I will bring shoes for you (to her grandfather) from bazaar”, (in order to enjoy a feeling of being important; of being able to do things which only the adults can do).
If the child sees a grown up to be sad, he may ask him who has beaten him, and may give out his assurance—”I will beat him.”
Also, in order to seek attention, a child lies “I have got fever.” These are the child’s ways of trying to relieve himself from the tension, which is caused by his constant awareness of the fact that he is weak, and cannot do things which the adults can do. It is a device, that the child adopts to have a momentary satisfaction of becoming as able in all respects, as adults are.
A child often develops such illusory things about himself in order to compensate for his weaknesses. The adult should not see anything immoral in such behaviour of the child. Such a behaviour is, rather, good for his mental health or development.
There are other reasons, also, which may make the child tell a lie;
i. When the truth may displease the adults.
ii. When speaking the truth may lead to corporal or other severe punishment.
iii. When speaking the truth is not to the liking of the child.
iv. When the child feels that mentioning of mere facts would not be so interesting, so impressive.
v. The child also tells lies for compensation, for practice of his adult life.
Sometimes a child just, per chance, stumbles upon the possibility of lying.
It is natural, that none would unnecessarily like to displease others by his behaviour. A child happens to be very sensitive, and understanding in this respect. He cares most for the pleasure and displeasure of those who are so affectionate towards him.
The child values their pleasure very much, and, would try to keep them in a good mood, even by telling a lie. But a child who is still about three years of age, would tell innocent lies, as the child’s intention in telling lies, rarely or never happens to harm others.
The best way to wean a child from such practices is to tell him in a happy mood, “ah, you are making a fool of me.” The child would realise that he or she can see through the lies that it tells. Our behaviour with a child should never be very harsh and threatening. It should be, rather, of such a nature that the child can dare tell the fact to us.
When we feel that the child is telling lies only to make his report more interesting or impressive, or, just to clip out things which are not as per his likings, we should, rather, listen to him interestingly. During such moments, a child may be flying on the wings of imagination. Let the child continue. Such things may be helpful in his growing into a creative adult.
We often find a child playing the roles of adults, especially, of the mother or of the father (generally a female child would play the role of her mother, and, a male child that of the father) or of a teacher. Such a role playing, though, cannot be taken as telling lies, yet while playing such roles, a child would tell a lot of lies.
These innocent lies are in the interest of children’s emotional, as well as sensorimotor development. The child through such imitative plays, practices for the duties and chores of adult life.
Such a play, also provides the child an occasion to compensate for his weaknesses, because of which he cannot do what he sees the adults around him doing— at least for a while he has the satisfaction that, he also can do as the adults do, though only in his make-believe world.
What we need is to let the child enjoy his make-believe world. Playing imaginary roles, playing with imaginary objects and imaginary characters— is the psychological need of the child. It is helpful in his development. Hence, let us provide suitable environment to the child for such games.
Sarvis, MK and Garcia, B have, however, warned against the extreme form of autism (absorption in fantasy as an escape from reality). Such a case will be termed as schizophrenic. When a child tells a lie to avoid punishment, we need to impress upon him, through our behaviour, that if he tells the fact, we will not be angry and rebuke or punish him, because speaking the truth is liked by all.
We should, rather, teach a child that telling a lie is something bad which none would like. And, the most important thing, in this respect, is that we ourselves should not tell a lie. Generally, what happens, we give assurance to a child to make him stop crying or weeping, or to make him give up his insistence for something, which we never honour.
Such a behaviour on our part, will instill the habit of lying in the child; so, it ought to be avoided, and, the child be made to face the reality which is unavoidable. The affectionate care of the elders should, however, never be slackened.
The accusation—”you are a liar, we cannot trust you” if made seriously and repeatedly, would turn the child into a hardened liar. However, it ought to be impressed upon the child that only truth is expected of him.
(vi) Should be sexually modest. Sex is a very strong instinct which has its impact, even on the behaviour of a small child. It is, perhaps, the most powerful of all the instincts, and, provides a very strong motive for a number of activities of the child.
Sigmund Freud has divided the period of childhood into three parts, as the behaviour of the child goes on changing, in reference to the impact of the instinct of sex upon it:
1. The oral stage:
It is the stage, when the child finds pleasure in sucking food from the breast of his mother up to the age of one year. The mouth is the main organ that the child seeks pleasure through. He puts everything that he takes hold of, into his mouth, to have the pleasure of doing it.
Psychoanalysts, like Freud and Alfred Alder, find this to be the motive behind such behaviour of the child, though a behaviourist, would like to link this behaviour to the theory of action-reaction, and would take the behaviour as being indulged into, in order to be acquainted with the objects of the environment.
The mouth of the child is the most sensible part of the body, and, he finds it to be pleasant when someone touches his lips or any part of his mouth—a child likes to be kissed.
2. The anal stage:
A child finds great relief when the waste matter passes out from his bowels. As a child finds release from tension in this anal-activity; the guardian can quite effectively impart toilet- training to a child who is about two years old.
Contrary to this, if the child is unnecessarily disturbed in the activity of defecation, or if toilet-training is imposed upon a child who is still not even two years old, the efforts of the guardians would be counterproductive. The child may even grow into an obstreperous child and an obstinate adult.
3. The phallic stage:
From third to fifteen years of age, a child may be seen growing curious about his genitals. He looks at his genitals and also that of the others. A female child feels that she lacks in some respects in bodily structure, in comparison to a male child. Some compensation for this deficiency seems to have been made when the female child is grown up into an adult, and, is a mother of a male baby.
The phallic stage is the stage when a male child feels more attraction towards his mother, and, a female child towards her father. Not only this, a male child starts harbouring jealousy against his father, and a female child against her mother.
In Freudian psychology, the male child’s jealousy against his father, of course, in his unconscious mind, has been termed as Oedipus complex; and that of a female child’s against her mother, as Electra complex. At present, we are concerned with the sexual modesty of a child, as a moral quality.
We shall not discuss here, how a child, when proceeding towards adolescence, first grows amorous towards one’s own body, then towards those who are of his own sex, and, then, towards those who are of the opposite sex.
Such sorts of erotic inclinations have been termed as Narcissism, homosexual and heterosexual respectively—here we shall only mention what precautions should be taken to avoid unnecessary repression of infantile sexuality.
The child’s curiosity regarding genitals; his feeling a sort of pleasure when the genitals and the area about the same are touched, is not unnatural. Hence, no harsh step on the part of the elders is warranted to suppress the child’s curiosity or inclination.
What is required, is to tell the facts regarding sex differences, in such a way that the curiosity is wisely satisfied, and the child will not have to repress an emotion unnecessarily. Contrary to it, if every curiosity of the child related to sex, is repressed in an insensitive manner, it would aggravate the curiosity of the child further, and its repression would only help in making the child neurotic.
For developing and maintaining sexual modesty in the child, such an environment ought to be maintained, that the child’s attention hardly, if ever, inclines towards anything related to sex.
Proper clothing of the child, and of others, too; highly interesting games for the child to be busy with; company of other children and elders that the child may neither feel unhappy nor bored; timely satisfaction of the child’s needs, and that, too, with an affectionate touch of the elders, are all helpful, directly or indirectly in maintaining sexual modesty of the child.
After a prolonged longitudinal study, Peck and Havighurst concluded— “There does seem to be such a thing as individual character; a persisting nature of attitudes and motives which produce a rather predictable kind and quality of moral behaviour.”
Character is a by-product of many other developments. The twin authors further write—”character can be regarded as a special aspect of personality; or, otherwise stated, as a function of certain personality characteristics.”
They have listed six aspects of personality as relevant:
(i) Moral stability;
(ii) Ego strength;
(iii) Superego strength;
(iv) Spontaneity;
(v) Friendliness and
(vi) A hostility guilt complex.
Though apparently, it seems that here, we are concerned only with one of the six aspects, that is moral stability; but, by what has been discussed above, it should be clear that moral stability is such a wide aspect of character, which is related to all the other five enumerated here.
Moral character is made up of self-control, awareness of self (that is, ego), skill and insight into others, (pre-thinking as to how others would react to a particular behaviour), reaction to the authority of parents (a child would always try to avoid a behaviour which is likely to evoke the displeasure of parents, or, to result in the withdrawal of affection by them).
When a child grows older, and has to move and behave in wider circles of society, he also develops conscientiousness in his relations with the church and in regards to cultural mores. He accepts group codes. His ability to restrict his own selfish, impulsive behaviour, in order to adjust to the interests of the wider groups, grows stronger.
In the classic book, Child Development, six things have been given as requisites for good moral growth:
(i) Good physical health:
Good physical health’s is very much helpful in enabling one to resist immoral pressure. The saying ‘sound mind in a sound body,’ is relevant here also.
(ii) Emotional security:
A child who is properly cared after, and loved, does not feel isolated or lonely; and has not to feel grudge against anyone, or harbour bitterness for anyone. Revenge would never be his motive, when he behaves with others. He can be expected to love his neighbours as he loves himself.
(iii) Proper avenues for the expression of excitement:
A child may more often be excited when it is an occasion for glee. If proper avenue is not provided for the expression of such an excitement, it would not be good for the health of the child. The repressed emotion may lead the child to express the same in an unhealthy way. Care needs to be taken that, a child does not feel bored because of lack of recreation and excitement.
(iv) Continued discipline in self-control:
The child should be trained in exercising proper control over childish impulses. Nevertheless, the child must not be made to observe adult standards in his behaviour. The activities which are natural to a child, should be allowed to be pursued, in a wholesome manner.
Self-discipline is, no doubt, important but our expectation of the same should not lose sight of the fact that the child is still not fully matured physically, cognitively and emotionally.
(v) Consideration for the rights and privileges of others:
With age, the child’s social horizon also gets widened. This enables him to know others in a better way, to tolerate differences with others, or the situation which is not as he had expected, or desires it to be. The widening social horizons only can make a child sympathetic to others—otherwise he would remain self-centred and grow selfish.
A child who moves in a wider social circle, develops a better understanding of others, and, may have genuine consideration for the rights and privileges of others. There can be no morality without such a consideration for others.
(vi) Religious programmes as a source of inspiration:
Religion has got a very great psychological significance, especially for the development of moral character. All religious books teach us good things; inspire us for a life of sacrifice, devotion, truthfulness etc. Saintly teachings are to the same effect; biographies of saints provide examples of moral lives which, if told to children in a proper way, may prove as a source of effective inspiration for them to imitate and emulate.
If, throughout the year, some such religious programmes are held, which practically involve us in deeds of devotion and co-operation, which touch our emotions through holy psalms sung on the occasions, impact of the same is definitely to be there in the development of moral character.
Piaget, in his book The Moral Judgment of the Child, 1948, views that a child learns the rules that are not objectively real, but they are made by people, and, can be modified as demanded by the circumstance…. “only in the more mature stage can the child see that the rightness of an act lies in carrying out the spirit rather than the letter of the ruling.”
Piaget’s studies in Switzerland and Durkin’s studies in the United States, led to the similar findings that the concepts of justice increase with age. Each child “re-works” the moral principles that are handed down to him.
Moral rules are not assimilated by the child as readymade principles, handed down from one generation to the other—”he can integrate into his own life, in terms of his own individual needs, and his own identification with and respect for the other people in his environment.”
Conflict within the mind continues till the child has not made the rules thoroughly his own. As the child grows in age, and, has to move in a constantly widening circle of society, his capacity to identify himself with others, his interest in others also grows, and his capacity to judge situations on a wider basis, develops.
He would be depending less on adult authority, less on the majority rating by his peers—he develops the capacity to judge situations for himself.